Healing in MOCKINGJAY by Suzanne Colllins

SPOILER ALERT

MOCKINGJAY is the third and final book in Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games Trilogy.

OVERVIEW

After the Quarter Quell, Katniss finds herself in District 13 with her mother, Prim, Gail, Haymitch, and Finnick. Peeta, Johanna, and Enobaria have been captured by the Capitol, but eventually District 13 is able to rescue Peeta and Johanna.

It quickly becomes apparent that Peeta has been hijacked by the Capitol, meaning that his memories of Katniss have been altered and entwined with fear. When Peeta is reunited with Katniss in District 13, he shocks everyone by springing at Katniss and attempting to strangle her. Peeta is treated by the medical team in District 13 and eventually reaches a point where he can begin to separate his real memories from the memories altered by the Capitol.

The rebel districts succeed in overthrowing the Capitol, but not without great loss of life on both sides. Prim and Finnick are among the dead. Alma Coin, the President of District 13, becomes President of Panem, but Katniss kills her because Coin's way of staying in power is too similar to that of the cold and calculating President Snow, who was President of Panem for decades.

Katniss finally returns to District 12, where she marries Peeta. Katniss and Peeta eventually have two children in the new and more gentle world that has emerged from the overthrow of the Capitol.

A STEP TOWARD HEALING--ASKING

When one has been out of touch with reality, it is helpful to ask a trusted person for help. Peeta does this as he tries to sort out which of his memories are real and which have been hijacked. He states what his memory is telling him, and then asks, "Real or not real?" The trusted person's answer helps him reconnect with reality.

Peeta's reconnection with reality reminds me that there are different ways to frame what happens to us. The way we frame what happens to us creates our reality. People we trust can suggest different frames. For example, two frames through which illness has been viewed are (1) that illness is a punishment from God and (2) that illness comes from natural physical causes, such as germs or aged-related degeneration.

FURTHER STEPS TOWARD HEALING

Healing of trauma is possible, but it isn't always complete. Perhaps it is never complete. But life can go on and can bring joy.

Katniss and Peeta marry and have two children. Twenty years after the defeat of the Capitol and the end of the Hunger Games, Peeta still sometimes has flashbacks, and Katniss still sometimes has nightmares. But Peeta and Katniss also take joy in each other, in their children, in their friends, in their memory book, and in nature. They know that the flashbacks and nightmares won't ever completely go away. But that's okay.

On some days, Katniss says that "it feels impossible to  take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it could be taken away" (page 390). When Katniss feels this way, she says, "I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I've seen someone do" (page 390).

A catalog of goodness, a catalog of gratitude--this is a wonderful healing idea. I think Katniss is saying: I will anchor myself in the reality of goodness as this temporary wave of despair washes over me.

OVERALL

Here are the ways that Katniss and Peeta find healing:

• Asking trusted people for reality checks
• Mentally cataloguing goodness and gratitude
• Recognizing feelings of despair, including flashbacks and nightmares, as the temporary waves that they are--waves of despair in an ocean of goodness
• Anchoring in the reality of goodness when a temporary wave of despair arises
• Taking delight in each other, their children, their friends
• Keeping the memory book of the beloved dead: Prim, Katniss' father, Peeta's father, Cinna, Finnick, Boggs, and so many others
• Spending time outdoors in nature

Harry Potter: The Phoenix's Song of Lament

When the beloved Professor Albus Dumbledore dies toward the end of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Dumbledore's phoenix, named Fawkes, sings a beautiful lament, described on pages 614-615:

Somewhere out in the darkness, a phoenix was singing in a way Harry had never heard before: a stricken lament of terrible beauty. And Harry felt, as he had felt about phoenix song before, that the music was inside him, not without: It was his own grief turned magically to song that echoed across the grounds and through the castle windows.

How long they all stood there, listening, he did not know, nor why it seemed to ease their pain a little to listen to the sound of their mourning, but it felt like a long time later that the hospital door opened again and Professor McGonagall entered the ward.

This is the power of beautiful music of deep feeling. Such music seems to be not only outside the listener but also within the listener's soul. Such music expresses the listener's feelings in a beautiful way--turns the listener's feelings, even if those feelings are very painful, into something of beauty. And in so doing, such music heals.

If one's soul has been damaged, one way to heal the soul is through music and other types of art. Art heals the soul. Music heals the soul.

I would say that anyone whose soul has been damaged by being abused or traumatized, or by abusing or traumatizing self or others, would do well to make music and other forms of art an important part of his or her healing. Such a person would do well to surround himself or herself with beauty. Prisons and half-way houses would do well to take note of this. So would hospitals, rehabilitation centers, nursing homes--any place that focuses on rehabilitation and healing.

Hospital Experience #12: Yvonne - Healing Music Part 2

This is the twelfth in a series of posts on a recent experience at Ochsner Hospital - having a cardiac catheter ablation procedure to correct a heart arrhythmia. These posts describe and reflect on various aspects of the hospital experience. This twelfth post is the second of two posts reflecting on Yvonne's gift of healing music.

For greater understanding of this post, it will help to have read my previous post, "Hospital Experience #11: Yvonne - Healing Music Part 1," which describes healing music as played and sung by Yvonne and reflects on the aspects of comfort, presence, and healing in Yvonne's gift. This post, "Hospital Experience #12: Yvonne - Healing Music Part 2," will reflect on further aspects of this gift.

VIBRATION. Music is a powerful healing medium. I believe that this is because vibration is at the center of the universe. At the core of the universe, there is a pulse. At the core of every human being, there is a pulse - our heartbeat. Our core organ, the heart, embodies a life-giving vibration, pulse, beat, rhythm.

Rhythm is primary in music - enhanced by melody, harmony, timbre, and dynamics. In playing and singing for me, Yvonne was connecting with me at a very deep and primal level. Through music, she was speaking to me at my core. It is also worth noting that my medical issue was a heart arrhythmia, and Yvonne was sending healing music to me, healing rhythm.

BEAUTY. Beauty enhances any healing medium. If a patient needs bed rest, if is well to surround the patient with beautiful sights, sounds, textures, and scents. If a patient needs special baths, it is well to include candles and music. If a patient needs to be kept in traction, it is well to hang colorful mobiles from the bars. If a patient needs a special diet, it is well to add flowers to the meal tray. Beauty will heal because it touches the soul. The healing music played and sung by Yvonne took me into a world of intense beauty. Yvonne was bathing me in beautiful music.

SACREDNESS. Music is Yvonne's soul language. In playing and singing for me, Yvonne was taking me into the depths of her heart and holding me safely there. She was giving to me from her most sacred inner place. She was giving me the gift that is uniquely hers to give, the gift that gives her the most joy to give.

ART. Art heals - and with my previous blog post and this one, I see two art forms combining to effect a healing that my soul needs. These are music and writing. Writing is my art medium. Music is Yvonne's. Yvonne and I also share each other's media in that Yvonne also writes and I have also played, sung, and even composed music. But I would say that writing is more natural to me, as music is more natural to Yvonne. Also, Yvonne has gone far more deeply into her medium than I have into mine. Nonetheless, Yvonne's gift to me of music and my working with this gift through writing has effected and is effecting a profound healing.

INEXHAUSTIBLENESS. I believe that healing music opens channels that continue to effect healing. I can never say that I have received everything there is to be gleaned from this hospital experience and from Yvonne's gift. The healing will continue to unfold.

ENRICHMENT TO THE GIVER. Yvonne's gift included letting me know how giving to me had enriched her. Yvonne does not see herself as solely giving and me as solely receiving. In her view, my willingness to receive her gift was something that I gave to her, and this allowed her to give her gift and to receive what that experience held for her. I understand that the experience of giving her healing music to me held at least four gifts for Yvonne.

First, it allowed her to experience herself as overflowing. Erich Fromm in The Art of Loving describes three types of givers. The first type sees giving as depletion: such people experience giving as having less for themselves, so every act of giving becomes an act of diminishing their own supply. The second type sees giving as marketing: such people like to give only as part of an even exchange, so that every act of giving is matched by receiving something of equal value. The third type sees giving as indicative of abundance: such people experience joy in giving because their ability to give reminds them of how much they have and allows them to experience themselves as wealthy, even though, in an objective sense, they may be poor. Yvonne is the third type of giver. Giving to me afforded her the joy of experiencing herself as rich, abundant, overflowing, and generous.

Second, a crucial part of Yvonne's life purpose is developing and sharing her gift of music. Giving to me allowed her the soul satisfaction of fulfilling her purpose.

Third, Yvonne shared with me that giving to me of her music for four hours straight showed her that she has reserves of strength that she wasn't sure she had. This is because Yvonne had a stroke in the fall of 2009 and still has some limitations of movement on her left side. She also needs to expend more energy in performing tasks that were once automatic, which is tiring. Yvonne is still recovering from her stroke in a very real sense. After playing and singing for me all morning, Yvonne had the joy of realizing, "Wow! I do have the reserves of strength to play and sing healing music for someone for an extended period of time."

Fourth, Yvonne also shared with me that this post-stroke experience of giving has encouraged her to branch out and begin again to offer her healing music more widely in hospitals and clinics where she lives in Colorado. It deepens her knowing: "After the stroke, I still have an important musical gift to give. I have the stamina to do so. I can fulfill my life purpose. I can experience the joy of giving."

Hospital Experience #11: Yvonne - Healing Music Part 1

This is the eleventh in a series of posts on a recent experience at Ochsner Hospital - having a cardiac catheter ablation procedure to correct a heart arrhythmia. These posts describe and reflect on various aspects of the hospital experience. This eleventh post is the first of two posts in which I will reflect on the gift given me by Yvonne, a life-long friend and a pianist living in Colorado.

Throughout this hospital experience, Yvonne has supported me in many ways, including thinking of me and praying for me, contacting me before the procedure to express her love and concern, listening deeply to me, and most especially keeping vigil during the procedure. Yvonne kept vigil for me in a unique way: throughout the entire morning of my procedure, she played and sang healing music for me.

Yvonne has done this healing music for many people. She has done it for people who simply wanted the experience, for people undergoing illness or surgery or grief or trauma, and for people in the process of dying. She has done it for those who are physically present in the room with her and for those who are physically elsewhere.

Here is my understanding of the healing music Yvonne does. What I understand is that Yvonne sits at the piano and quiets her spirit, sets her intention to connect deeply with the spirit of the one for whom she is playing and singing, and begins to play. As she plays, early on, she feels herself slip into a place of connectedness. She then allows herself to be led to the pieces and songs she is to play and sing.

Yvonne says that, when she plays and sings in this way, she is very aware that something is being done through her rather than that she is doing something. She experiences herself as a channel through which gifts of the spirit world flow to others. These gifts do not originate with her. In fact, Yvonne is often in awe of what a healing music session evokes for those for whom she plays and sings. People often share this with Yvonne in the days or weeks after a session, but Yvonne herself leaves it entirely up to them whether or not to share, as they wish.

Some years ago, I experienced this healing music with Yvonne in person - that is, while physically present in the room with her. When I experienced this in person, the music had a deeply calming effect. It was in the evening at my home, so I went to bed right after the healing music session and slept very soundly. The calming effect lasted noticeably into the next day.

On the morning of my cardiac catheter ablation, Yvonne again did this healing music for me. Yvonne is not a morning person and she lives in the Mountain Time Zone (an hour earlier than the Central Time Zone where I am located in New Orleans), but she got up early enough to begin playing and singing at 7 a.m. MDT, and she did not stop until approximately 11 a.m. MDT when she received the phone call that the procedure was over and I was fine. Yvonne was with me in this special way the whole time.

POSTSCRIPT: I am writing this postscript after completing this post. I originally intended to write one post on Yvonne's gift of healing music. That was before I realized where this writing would take me. The writing has taken me to such a surprising insight that I have decided to end this post with that important insight. This post, then, will reflect on the gifts of comfort, presence, and healing that I received through Yvonne's playing and singing for me. My next post will continue my reflections on Yvonne's gift.

Here are some of the benefits I received from Yvonne's gift of healing music during my hospital experience.

COMFORT. This comfort was tangible for me. I truly felt comfort in knowing that my friend was with me throughout the time of my medical procedure. Yvonne devoted the entire morning to me in an intense and concentrated way. She wasn't thinking of me while also going about her daily tasks. She wasn't waiting to hear news of how the procedure went while reading a book. She concentrated her whole attention exclusively on me for four hours. This is hugely comforting.

PRESENCE. Yvonne was present with me. Although she was physically in Colorado while I was physically in New Orleans, she was more present than she would have been if she had been sitting physically right outside the procedure room waiting for news of the outcome while reading the newspaper, chatting on a cell phone, or eating a snack. In fact, the ONLY way in which Yvonne was not present was physically. She was present with me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

We get so caught up in the physical that, if someone isn't physically in the same location as we are, we experience them as not there, as absent. Yet physical presence is the most shallow way of being present. Unless other ways of being present are also involved, physical presence alone is useless. To use a drastic example, if an individual is physically having sex with his or her spouse while mentally and emotionally doing so with someone else, many people would consider this an act of infidelity even though the individual may never have approached that other person physically at all.

Mental presence, emotional presence, and spiritual presence are REAL ways of being present. I know that this is true, even though if remains intangible for me. That is, I didn't actually feel Yvonne's presence as she was playing and singing healing music for me. I simply knew that she was doing this, that she was truly present with me in this deep way - and this knowledge comforted me.

Yvonne does have a more tangible sense of non-physical presence. She told me that, as soon as she sat down at the piano to play and sing for me on the morning of my medical procedure, she could feel my presence right there beside her. She said, "It was as though you were right there in the room with me." I would say that it was more than that. I was right there in the Colorado piano room with Yvonne, and Yvonne was right there in the New Orleans procedure room with me - or perhaps we were right there with each other in a way that has nothing to do with space.

HEALING. The healing music played and sung by Yvonne healed me at a deep level, whether or not I am conscious of it. Actually, I am not conscious of the healing that went on and probably continues to go on as a result of Yvonne's gift. But I know that healing happened and is probably still happening - I know this because it is clear to me that concentrated energy has an effect. Yvonne was intensely concentrating her energy upon me for four hours. Something happened as a result, whether on not I am aware of it.

I might wonder - since Yvonne was playing and singing healing music for me - why I clashed with Nurse Dreadful and why I panicked in the procedure room. Shouldn't the healing music have produced calm? Not necessarily. I can think of at least two reasons why not.

First, I realize now that there is something I could have done and didn't do. In the weeks and days leading up to my procedure, I thought about the gift Yvonne was going to give me and felt comforted. However, on the morning of the procedure itself, I was so focused on getting through the procedure intact that I did not take time to align myself consciously with the healing music, to open myself consciously to receive this gift. I think I could have received more if I had done this.

Second, while feeling calm throughout hospital day would have been a gift that I would love to have received, I believe that the gift I actually needed to receive was far different. It is the gift of insight. The Nurse Dreadful clash and the procedure room panic have led to very useful insights about myself, as my blog posts show.

Also - and I am realizing this with amazement just this moment - I value the insights more than I value calmness. To find myself saying that I value insights more than calmness is HUGE! My life stance thus far has been very different. I have often expressed it like this: "I don't want to grow and become a better person - I just want to avoid pain and discomfort," and "I'd rather not learn the lessons life teaches because they are too painful - it's not worth it." But now, in this hospital experience, I am able to see that it IS worth it. Somehow, I am able to say, "It is worth it to have clashed with Nurse Dreadful and to have panicked in the procedure room because of the insights I have gained from those uncomfortable experiences."

Come to think of it, I don't think I have ever said this about any uncomfortable experience before! Before, I would have said: "No, it was too painful to reach those insights - it wasn't worth it." But this time, it IS worth it.

As I write this, I am becoming aware of just how great a shift this is in my thinking. My writing is also solidifying the shift, making it more concrete and real to me, so that I can choose to work with it in the future and make it a conscious part of my life.

I am also noticing something else about this. It is not quite true to say, "The discomfort of the clash and the panic is worth it because the discomfort is outweighed by the valuable insights." It is more than that. It is that the joy of the insights retro-actively infuses the clash and the panic. The pain of then is absorbed into the joy of now. It is not a question of weighing painful incidents against valuable insights and finding that the insights have greater weight. No. It is that the painful incidents get absorbed into the joy and value of the insights. I mean - the pain is transformed. The pain doesn't cause suffering any more - it causes joy.

I have NEVER experienced this before. All the pain in my life has caused me suffering. I have weighed the pain against the joy and decided that the small amount of joy simply isn't worth enduring the large amount of pain. Conclusion: Life isn't worth it. Resultant life stance: My life goal has been to get from here to the grave as safely and painlessly as possible. I have often said, "If it is true that we actually choose to come to earth, I must have chosen to do so in a moment of utter cosmic insanity." I have often imagined the day when a doctor will tell me, "You have just x amount of time to live," and with what relief I will exclaim, "Finally, finally, I am getting out of here - it will be over!"

But now I have had an experience that opens a whole new way to approach life. I have actually experienced being able to say, "This painful event is worth it because of the insights I have gained. Indeed, the value of the insights infuses the pain. The pain has lost its quality of suffering and has become part of the joy."

I would like to reach a place where I can also say, "This entire life is worth it," and "The pain of this life no longer causes me suffering but joy." For the first time, I glimpse this as a very real possibility.

I began this section saying that I knew that Yvonne's playing and singing had effected and was effecting healing in me even though I was not consciously aware of the healing. I am ending this section aware of a tremendous area of healing.

THIS is the healing I have received from Yvonne's gift of music - to have actually experienced the fact that pain can be transformed from suffering to joy and to know that life can truly be worth it.